hot take on the conventional family system

Random thoughts I've been having recently. It is probably a mess but I just wanted to put something out after so long (rough months) and I found myself writing this in one sitting so why not?

Lately I have been overwhelmed with thoughts of anti feminist women, the whole girl’s girl argument, my lost sense of purpose, frequent dreams of death by my own hand, propaganda aimed at women, the idea that I am not meant for anything.

The idea that we are supposed to value romantic love more than platonic love, the idea that you must find a romantic partner to spend your life with is preposterous and reeks of propaganda. I am not anti-romance. I think its beautiful and hope to find my idea of it someday but I also hope to realize and make peace with the fact that our lives are not pointless without it. The idea that we must marry that one partner, have kids with them and center our lives around that is propaganda. Maybe not by governments but by society and history. Just because it has always been that way doesn’t mean it is the best and only way to live life.

I will say something radical and perhaps controversial now. I may be mistaken but I am only eighteen and I’m figuring things out. There may be some naïve reason as to why I think the way I do or maybe everyone feels this way about other people’s perspectives and opinions. Don’t get me wrong, I am respecting the opinions of these people in my daily life, I am not pushing my views down anyone’s throat (quite the opposite actually) but I do question my lack of relatability and understanding, and my dislike of that life.

I would argue that most people (even those who insist that settling down with the boyfriend they’re dating at the conventional age of marriage and having kids is what they want) would be happier without creating this hierarchy where most of your other relationships (platonic) turn to dust, if not surface level, years into that arrangement. I think some women who choose that life would be happier, freer and more fulfilled without the unpaid labour paired with a marriage that may have turned toxic, abusive or simply dry-there may not be bad blood between them but they are stagnant and only staying for the kids.

We can say that it is their choice, which is very important and I am not insisting against giving women a choice, no matter what they choose. I am simply stating that that choice is more influenced by the society and the patriarchy than is obvious. I know everything is influenced by something, that is how the world works. My argument is simply that these women (and maybe even men) would be happier just existing with familial, platonic or even romantic love without following the conventional system of how a life is supposed to be lived. I think we would be much happier travelling, laughing, loving, existing without the pressure, expectation and consequences of the traditional family system.

I have always wondered why everyone says that high school/college are the best years of one’s life. I hate that idea with my entire being. I know part of it is because after graduation we become adults with actual bills to pay but I would argue that once we graduate we start feeding into the pressure and expectation of finding the one, getting a house, settling down and slowly dissolving into a life revolved around that alone. We are supposed to do things for ourselves without fear, be passionate, create new things, try new things, see new places, meet new people, go skinny dipping whenever, value platonic love, eat an orange in a foreign country, make that kind stranger smile, raise a child with your friends and your partner without reducing yourself to that alone.

I am aware that this isn’t easy in this capitalist society but it never will be if you don’t snap out of it.